Dating a woman 12 years younger
In this case, you'll still need to treat carefully for all of the above reasons, but if you're really feeling each other, go for it. Let her know that you're a person she'll be dating, not a weird father figure or security blanket. However, it's worth taking a second look at whether this phenomenon should continue to be taken for granted.
Your partner isn't a trophy to show off to your friends and coworkers, she's a human with her own interests, struggles, insecurities and past.
Don't expect too much Older dudes sometimes complain to me at least that the older women they know are too sedentary and set in their ways. She may think that guys her own age are immature and directionless, and be looking for an older guy to provide more stability for her. This might mean you both have different lifestyle expectations. Again, though, these are not hard and fast lines or rules, and you need to draw your own moral lines. We get it, you're financially comfortable, but unless you are a member of the Kardashian family, you do not need that much bling.
The only way you can figure this stuff out is to talk openly about your expectations. Not to p on your parade, but be aware that most of us somethings are more than capable of being pretty damn lazy and stubborn too. Other variables like race, class and gender identity will also factor in to the power balance of your relationship. While not everyone moves through life at the same pace and ticks off the same milestones at the same time university, work, marriage, babies, buying a house, etc. Which is all well and good, except if you're as directionless and financially insecure as the men she's trying to avoid.
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